Oh yes.. I do love complexities and perplexities. I do love the questions "HOW" and "WHY", but somehow, I get frustrated because it shows me lucidly, my inferiority, my incapability to understand complicated things and how I fail to comprehend a single notion.

It's in me to find reasons behind any facts, ideas, behaviors and conjectures. I want to understand everything fully, to know everything there is to know, but there's this horror that finally kills me and those people like me - the impossibility of our desire, of what we yearn for.  We will never come to know everything. Our curiosity will be left unfed and we will all die knowing and understanding just a little portion of everything that exists; animate or inanimate.

You'll find human capacity for knowledge "very" limited, and that pains me a lot. On the other hand, the pool of knowledge we so much want to imbibe seems fathomless and unbelievably infinite. It may be kinda hard to accept but I think there's no way we could ever seek all the answers for the endless questions we have or even come to know everything there is to know.

I know it does sound odd, weird and too much but this is what I desire.  I'm just like you, who desires something badly.  It's just that, we have our own interests and preferences and it just so happens that what I desire, was kinda unusual.  Anyway, I really don't know how to explain it further more but I guess I'll just keep it to myself.